Shouldn’t you Take a Systematic View of Performance?

I don’t know much about football

As a teenager I used to play in the school yard. When they picked teams I was always the last poor sod standing there. I was usually dismissed to the other team with a “Oh, you have him”.

• I was fat
• I was slow
• I lacked talent

(Keep your thoughts to yourself.)

But I’m going to win the F.A. Cup

I’m going to invest in a team and then I’m going to coach them. Here’s how:

1. I’m going to get the right players

• I will invest when I can (my mate Gerry is a master at football manager)
• I’m going to grow my own talent, they call it an academy — I think

2. The players are going to train

• Eat the right foods
• Stop smoking
• Kick a football, then kick it again. And when they are done, they are going to kick it some more
• Spend Friday nights in — I guess drinking before a match is bad

3. I will create the right environment

• We will have a clear goal
• I’ll do motivational team talks
• We will develop rapport
• I’ll employ a sports psychologist to stop them messing with each other’s heads — and mine

4. I will buy them the right kit

• A strip — stripes are nice
• Some goal posts
• Boots, those with studs in to stop them slipping over

5. They will look at their performance

• They will watch every match
• Did they run when they could and pass when they couldn’t?
• They will learn from what went wrong

Why am I so sure I can win the F.A. Cup?

I clearly have no idea what I’m talking about.  I couldn’t tell you one end of a football from another.

But I will win the cup, because unlike the rest of the Football League, which changes managers the way I change my socks (3 or 4 times a month),  I will invest in a manager who knows what he is talking about and let him get on with it.

Shouldn’t you take a systematic view of performance, not a knee-jerk one?